Vi har vel alle opplevd å få mailer hvor det tilbys sinnsyke
summer hvis man bare oppgir navn, telefonnummer og adresse. Alle disse
historiene er selvfølgelig surr og rør fra ende til annen, og de aller fleste
inneholder info som avslører dem som scam hvis man googler det. Man blir jo
dritlei disse folka, og selv om de fleste mailene automatisk går i spambøtta,
får man til tider lyst til å oppsøke dem og scambanke dem!
Men etter å ha lest historien om Anders som lurte svindlere
trill rundt, og fikk gutta i Nigeria til å bygge olakjerre, fikk jeg selv lyst
til å ha det litt gøy. Så da «Maxwell» ville gi meg 40% av 5,5 millioner for å
hjelpe ham å snike unna penger funnet i Saddams gjemmested, svarte jeg høflig
at jeg selvfølgelig ville hjelpe!
Målet var i hovedsak å holde en mail-korrespondanse i live
så lenge som mulig, med en mulig bonus som feks å få fyren til å synge inn noen
strofer av "Her kommer Ole Blum". «Sersjant Maxwell» var veldig ivrig
i starten, men jeg nådde ikke så langt som ønsket, og fikk til slutt følgende
beskjed: «Get lost you fool. I would have shot you dead if you would be near
me». Og så vi som hadde det så hyggelig Max!
Hans første mail er en typisk modell vi alle har sett før:
“Hello,
I am Sgt Maxwell Villarreal of the US Army base
in Afghanistan for peace keeping.I found your contact detail in a address
journal am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $5,500,000.00 to you
as long as I am assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my
service here in Afghanistan.
This is not a stolen money and there are no
dangers involved. I count on your
understanding.
Kindly get back to me through my personal
email: maxvallareal@gmail.com for further details and also i need your full
name,age and telephone number.
Regards,
Maxwell.”
Dette var jo spennende! Også så sykt mye penger da gitt -
dette må jeg bare bli med på! Men jeg kan ikke bare si ja sånn uten videre, og
uten noen betingelser. Derfor vil jeg gjerne at Maxwell skal hjelpe meg litt i
forbindelse med mitt regnskogprosjekt «Syngforskogen».
“Hi Maxwell!
As you probably know already, I’m in the music
business, and have been for almost twenty years now. The last five years I’ve
been working on some very valuable projects, so I can now afford to let some of
my dreams come true and get involved in projects that will gain my personal
interests: to save the rainforest. I have been looking for a partner for a year
now, but unfortunately the people around me are to busy, and the most of them
can't afford quit their day jobs. Only a brother of mine, who works as a
technician in our studio in Oslo, are willing to join me.
And there you are! Appreciated!
To the case: I am working with a project for
the Amazonas rainforest. The project is called «Syng for skogen» which means
«Sing for the forest». We are planning to bring our mobile music studio to
Brazil, and make the natives do some backing vocals. The idea is to let them
sing the song «Her kommer Ole Blom» a Norwegian traditional song about the
beauty of the nature, and we want the natives or residents to perform the song
in Norwegian - just to emphasize the distance between their world and ours.
Despite the Norwegian language of the song, the
project is planned to go worldwide, and we are hoping to involve several
countries from Africa, South America, Asia and Europe. This project is going to
be huge, and the web page «Syngforskogen.com» will be up running January 2014,
after registering the company. And of course, after we have established the
project, and started promoting a company working for maintaining and sustain
our planet, there will be a lot of willingness around us, which again will
generate money - and a need for a whole several numbers of bank accounts.
We have been working a year with this project,
and are soon ready to push the «go»button. After this is up running, there will
of course be a lot of different ways to evacuate and «hide» your money, but
first of all I need to know if you like the idea of this, and if you think this
is something you would like to take part of. I'm not gonna ask for much, but
this will be a favor for favor, right?
Think about it and e-mail me when you have made
your decision! Then I will send more info about myself!
Btw: I am 38 years old, married and father of
two.
Please answer the address in this e-mail:
syngforskogen@gmail.com, so I can organize all my contacts in the project from
here.
Looking forward to hear from you!
Cincerely
Ronald”
Og jaggu beit han på gitt! Deilig å vite at jeg allerede har
okkupert flere timer av dagen hans, foran en svett pc med Windows 98 og et
gulbrunt tastatur fra forrige århundre! Nå når han endelig har fått napp fra en
lettlurt nordmann, er det vel greit å utbrodere historien litt, og forklare
hvor de $ 5,5 millionene kommer fra. Og allerede i hans mail nr. 2 – som kom
dagen etter, drister han seg til å liste opp hva slags info han ønsker fra meg.
«Syngforskogen»-prosjektet får ikke mye oppmerksomhet, men han har i hvert fall
forstått at han må spille med hvis han skal få meg med videre.
“Hello Ronald,
I am Maxwell Villarreal a US Army serving in
the 3rd Infantry Division in Iraq,presently in Afghanistan.In 2003, my men and
I found over $900 million in Saddam Husein's hideout in Baghdad, we sent some
back to the Iraq government after counting it in a classified location, but we
also kept some behind for ourselves. Some of the money we shared among
ourselves worth over $200 million, I kept my own share for a while in a secured
place before moving out the funds out of Iraq through the help of United Nation
diplomats to Republic of Ghana for safe keeping.
I do not know for how long I will remain here
as I have been lucky to survive 3 suicide bomb attacks by Afghanistan Militant;
i know this was Pure Divine intervention from God.
I need someone I can trust, since i have
already lost a box of gold to someone that said he will help me, i need your
assurance and trust as I won't like to make the same mistake. The total amount
of money is $5,500,000.00,this money i am ready to entrust in your care until i
resign from the services and meet with you in your house for subsequent sharing
and investment projects.
I am interested in this project as you
highlighted in your email will like you to throw more lights on the project,kindly
provide the followings to enable me forward your details to introduced you to
the company.
(1) Full Names;
(2) Contact Address:
(3) Direct Telephone No:
(4) Occupation:
(5) Age and Marital Status:
As soon i received all required details, i will
then provide you with the companies contact details to enable you contact them
for further discussions,you will receive 40% of the money, all you need to do
is discuss and seek mode of transfer from them as i will send your full details
to them for onward process.Please make sure you check your email all the time
because we don't have much time on this,i will be in Iraq for a mission and
hope to speak to you once i have your number and all the required details from
you.
Regards,
Maxwell.”
Dæven Maxegutten – skal si det går unna der nede, med
selvmordsombere og greier! Du må være forsiktig med deg selv nå da! Men var det
ikke litt tidlig å mase om adresser og alle disse detaljene? Hm… får se om jeg
klarer å holde deg i gang litt til.
Adressen til vårt tidligere musikkstudio burde funke. Googler
han det, får han bekreftet at det er ekte, men firmaet eksisterer ikke lenger,
så jeg så ingen fare ved å gi ham adressen vi brukte frem til vi la ned
selskapet. Jeg vil også få frem at jeg er en opptatt mann selv, og forsikre meg
om at han ikke lurer meg. Jeg har tross alt annet å finne på enn å bruke tid på
å bli lurt! J
“Hello again Maxwell!
As the director of the Norwegian sound studio
Imperial Sound, I am a very busy man, with a lot of projects going on. So I
need you to be honest about this and don't waste my time. As I told you - sure
I can help you, but you also have to give me a hand in return. Can I trust you
in this?
I would be happy if you could help me find
anyone in Afghanistan able to sing a few lines of my song, so we can be able to
decide where to start our project. Maybe Afghanistan is a good place to start,
and then we can move on to South America and Africa after that. You don't have
to worry about providing us any kind of contacts in the music- business, I
guess that will be hard to find down there anyway. As I told you we are
planning to bring our mobile studio, installed in our 90 feet Hymer camper 2012
mod. Only thing you have to provide us, is some persons willing to visit our
studio, and do the backing vocals for the «syngforskogen» project.
Of course I am a little concerned about driving
into a war zone with a vehicle like this, because the insurance doesn't cover
damages in areas where the political situations are unstable. Anyway - its not
like this is going to happen tomorrow, we have a lot to plan before we can get
going. And when we are coming, I hope you can help us find a safe place to stay
thru the project.
Btw: because of a large amount of ongoing tasks
and projects, some of my emails might be answered by my secretary Edvard, and
he will also be the one answering the phone when I'm in the studio.
The adress of the studio is:
Imperial Sound
Risøyveien 7
3290 Stavern
Soon as you can promise me some singing
Afghanistan residents, I will provide you all the info you ask for.
Have a nice day!
Ronald Kern
Director, producer and manager
Imperial Sound
Risøyveien 7
3290 Stavern”
Og nå ble det veldig viktig for Max å understreke for en
ordentlig kar han er – ja han ble faktisk en smule kristen og greier! (som om
det skulle funke på meg!) Han fikk litt noja da jeg begynte å prate om å ta meg
en tur til Afghanistan, og han er heller ikke veldig interessert i å kontakte
noen av innbyggerne der. En fredsbevarende soldat som ikke snakker med
lokalbefolkningen?? Bevare meg vel Max! Uansett, han vil gjerne at jeg tar ham
med i bønnene mine (hæ??), men nå trenger han virkelig å få de opplysningene!
“Hello Ronald,
Thank you for your prompt response to my emails
to you and i am assuring you of my 100% trust
and assurance in this transaction.I want you to understand that my life
is in danger as I might come out alive or dead base on situations on ground but
i am always in prayers for God to see me through till the end of my services here,so
i am trusting you and believing God to
come out alive,i have strong faith and have always remain stable,i have faced
deaths several occasions,lost many of my service men working with me from
insurgent attack but i know that the good Lord who has been guiding and
protecting me will see me through till am done here.
Please Mr.Ronald,I cannot assure you of talking
to the locals here as regards your music project and i will advice you not to
take such risk of thinking of this part of the world,Afghanistan is a God
forsaken country and they have no regards for human's life,if there is any
other parts of the world you desire,once i am out from here,i can assure you
all my time and services to make this project successful by traveling and
making a solid contacts as regards the music project.I hope you will understand
my situation and thank you for providing me the company's address and i still
need all required details to enable me introduced you to the holding company
for onward transfer of the funds.
Thank you once again for your understanding and
i wish you the best weekend,do remember me in your prayers while i awaits your
urgent response.
Regards,
Maxwell.”
Klart jeg forstår situasjonen din Max! Du er jo en ærlig,
flink og engasjert soldat i Afghanistan, som er redd for selvmordsbombere.
Tøffe tider! Nå drøyde jeg et par dager før jeg svarte ham igjen, for så å
begynne å presse ham litt. For hver melding fremover nå er det veldig spennende
om han fortsatt svelger historien min. For alt jeg vet kan det hende han har
avslørt meg for lenge siden, men ikke helt vet hvordan han skal bli kvitt meg.
“Hi Maxwell!
How was your weekend in Afghanistan? Hope you
didn't experience too many awful situations in the war zone! I'm happy for not being
down there myself, even though I am seriously considering bringing my studio to
Afghanistan after Christmas.
Are you sure you don't know anyone of the
locals down there? You don't have to put me in contact with any professional,
because as I told you, I just want some local people to do a few lines with
backing vocals on the rainforest project. As I said; favor for favor. If you
want help, I expect help back, and it's not a big favor I'm asking for.
As I told you in my last mail, the address of
our company is:
Imperial Sound
Risøyveien 7
3290 Stavern
I have been in a meeting with my accountant and
my bank today, and discussed which accounts I should use for this purpose.
Unfortunately they didn't believe in my project, and wouldn't help me on this.
My accountant know all about my economy, so the only thing I can do now is to
get the «rainforrest»-project up running myself - just to prove to them that
I'm gonna make it! My contact in the bank also need some kind of proof to
confirm the existence of my project, so you have to help me out here, or else
it will be hard for me to conduct your required transfers.
Soon as I am done with the official
registrations, and some kind of proof is provided, I will have several new
accounts available, and they will not be visible for my accountant. Will be an
easy match - I promise!
Sincerely
Ronald”
Nå gikk det faktisk to dager uten at jeg hørte noe mer fra
ham, så nå regnet jeg egentlig med at jeg hadde mistet ham. I såfall var det på
tide å vise meg mer som et plagsomt mareritt. Han skulle ikke bli kvitt meg så
lett!
“Hey Max!
Still alive down there? Been quiet from you the
last days - are you ok?
Ron”
Jeg håper ikke han oppfattet dette som sarkasme. Det ville
jo vært trist om jeg såret ham! Det tok et nytt døgn før jeg fikk svar, og det
virket som Max fortsatt var innafor! Hurra – mer moro!
“Hello Ronald,
We are on a mission to Iraq and could not
respond back to you immediately,i have succeeded in discussing and making
contact as requested.Here is the contact of Mr.Abdullah as i have discussed
tentatively with him and he is interested,so kindly contact him as follows;
Mr.Abdullah Shakir Mohammed
efioffshore@gmail.com
+964 771 975 1661
I have done my own part,so contact him for more
details as regards the project.
Regards,
Maxwell.”
Uffda, også jeg som mistenkte deg for å svikte meg, og så
har du vært ute og kjempet med soldatvennene dine! Fikk nesten litt dårlig
samvittighet nå altså! Men…. hva er dette? Merker jeg en litt kjølig tone her?
Og hvem er Abdullah? Du kan da ikke overlate meg til en vilt fremmed nå som vi
hadde det så fint! Dette må følges opp!
“Hi!
Who is this guy, and what does he do for
living? Can he sing?
Regards,
Ron”
Egentlig tror jeg Max nå er drittlei hele greiene, og har
bare lyst til å bli kvitt meg. Neste svar jeg fikk:
“Please contact him and discuss in details with
him...”
What?? Ingen
“Hi” eller “regards”? Hva skjer nå Max? Vil du ikke leke med meg mer? Dette må
jeg få klarhet i!
“What do you mean by that? I didn't ask you to provide
me a phone number, I am man enough to do that myself!
I wanted you to find some locals who can sing
on my project. "Efioffshore"... a random guy from Iraq is not what I
asked for! Don't fuck with me now - I thought we had a deal!
I want you to find a man who is able to sing,
then I will send you the lyrics and a sound file, in order to learn the «chosen
one» how to perform my song. And you will make the proof - as you are recording
the singing, and then sending it to me.
My contact in the bank is gonna be impressed by
your effort - so will I!
Looking forward to receive the results!
And of course -
a movie with sound is good enough for the "recording" I
mentioned. If it's good stuff, I'm gonna take that trip with our studio! :)”
Selvfølgelig
er Max nå fullstendig klar over at jeg er en bløff, men det som fortsatt er
interessant for meg er hvor lenge jeg klarer å få ham til å svare på mailene
mine. Og ganske riktig – nå er ikke tonen noe hyggelig lenger. Og det er ganske morsomt at han faktisk fortsetter å holde på sin egen historie! Hadde jeg vært ham ville jeg bare sagt fuck off for lenge siden :)
Ronald,i think you are not serious and capable
of helping me out as you are not a man of your words,you are becoming
unbearable with your attitudes,i thought we have a deal but you have proven to
be the weaker partner.I told you i cannot and will never discussed but have
made all attempt to help you,anyway never mind.I will search for a capable
partner whom i can strike a deal as you have proveen unserious man.Bye.. i will
contact Mr.Abdullah and told him of your unseriousness...
JEG ikke seriøs?! Makan til utakknemlighet da! Jeg som virkelig var innstilt på å
hjelpe deg Max. Nå har du såret meg! Jeg kan ikke gi meg helt på dette altså!
“Hi!
Why do you consider me unserious?? You can't
expect me to establish contact with a person I know nothing about! I just
wanted to know what kind of person this is, because I have some bad experiences
with contacting people before I have learned how to know them first.
So now you're pulling out - before you actually
have done anything of what you promised me? I said I needed to show some
evidence, because my bank demands me to.
Sending me a random address and phone number doesn't prove anything, and
the bank did not accept it.
So what I want you to do is this: pick up your
phone, take some pictures and record the singer - OR you can just make a short
movie with your phone - that will also work out well, and make my bank happy!
And that's why I asked if Mr. Abdullah can sing.
So there is no reason not to trust me here!
Have faith in me, get back on your horse, and get the job done!
Ron”
Ok, her var jeg helt overbevist om at fyren ville bare
slutte å svare. Men jaggu fikk jeg svar på dette også – vel og merke svar som
ganske klart indikerte at han nå var drit lei hele greia:
”Get lost you fool. I would have shot you dead if you would be near me”
High five!!
Vel vitende om at jeg aldri kommer til å høre fra fyren mer, måtte jeg likevel
gi ham en siste avskjedsmelding:
Ok - then stop sending people shit like this!
Seriously - do you think I for a second believed your stupid story?? Saddam
Hussein’s money - and gold?
$ 5,5 mill?! Do you really think I am that
stupid?! Don't underestimate people you are trying to scam - that might cost
you a lot of wasted work, like - for instance, all your writings to me.
Fun for me though :p And as in matter in fact;
I actually am in the music business for real - at least I used to be. I have
learned one thing now: Answering people who think they will succeed in scamming
is actually really entertaining! Thank you for that, and be careful in your
fantasy war!
Cheers!
Etter dette har det vært stille. Maxwell og jeg har mistet kontakten.
Synd det skulle ende slik, vi hadde det jo så fint til å begynne med!
